[x]

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

lifelinesI fear the sound of sparrows
and the density of leaves
against dew-muffled blades
of grass,

and I'm drowning
in the sky.

My skin has learned how
to peel itself off
without causing a commotion
in my marrows or
even show the slightest hint
of pain,
and my heart has learned how
to hush the stars in their wake
and keep it all a secret.

There's a sea in my mouth
and I can't swim.

There are lifelines
cast like these and it will
all end with the same tragedy.

of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl

Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile

I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you

If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down

Your gorgeous eyes
Are mesmerising
You

weight of the worldand suddenly--
it was like the world decided that
it didn't want to carry its burden any longer,
so it shifted the weight
into the hollows of my bones
and told me that
it was my problem now.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

A Charmed LifeDoll-faced men and sinkholes, ancient tombstones
Leaves piled ankle-deep, falling down
Old wells, old graves, old friends lost
Pirate adventures in Neverland
Don't go into that barn

Ponchoboy and Rangergirl rise from the ashes
From the cold river, from afar
Remember before they were born, how they
Held hands and jumped into the world
Don't go into that school

Ladybugs, pennies, notes from the dead sun eclipse
Scrape the inside of your skull for clues
All the old dreams are still there, petrified
You are a rock of ages gibbering
Don't go into that factory

Why don't you kill yourself?“Why don’t you kill yourself?”
Is the voice that often pops in my head
To remind me I’d be better off dead.
As I sit in my two story house
I’m always alone and filled with doubt.
I take medications I don’t know why
These thoughts constantly go through my mind.
I remind myself I have friends who care
And my parents, well, try to be there.
Some would think I’m being over dramatic
Others will think these thoughts could only come from an addict
Or a psycho.
As I weigh the pros and cons
The commercials shut off, the main program goes on
So I turn my mind off and let the show play
And hope that I can be happy one day.

You Are BlindYou see a picture.
A girl with a smile on her face.

She looks beautiful.
She wasn't going anyway fancy.
But she wore her black make up.
And her brand new top.

But that isn't what I see...

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the tears that have just been wiped away?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her right fist clenched,
Fumbling for her over strap bag?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the left hand grip her long sleeve for dear life?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her mind is running with thoughts tonight?

Look a little closer...
And maybe you'd have seen the warning signs....

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The StreamThe summerdays went on for years, neverending for this lonely character.

If there was ever a day I considered my best, then this one wouldn't
be it, the water flowing ever faster, ever slower, never fast enough.

The red string that extended itself further and further into the distance
had seemed so innocent and playfull, were it not for it's point of origin,
a lifeless husk that one might've called friend some time ago, that I
called friend some time ago.

The deed was over so fast, too fast, a stumble, a knife, a gasp and a sigh
was all that was needed to lead to this , could I have prevented it?
The answer was clear as day yet thick

A strange witnesssun passes by, shadows reform,

a man tormented by his remorse,

for long ago, it hit him hard,

a duck forsaw his own demise,

as it was witness to what he'd done,

the duck for one, had to die.

Deus ex animusGod lies in the mind,

Thoughts swirl 'round, ever so fast,

sentences shatter, never to last,

images fade, never to return,

bonds left alone, ready to burn.

If God lies in the mind, in imagination and ideas,

Then how does god not know of the enormous seas,

of voices and screams, unheard and scared,

crumbling under the weight they always beared.

For it is God that lies within our brain,

ignorant and reluctant to hear our pain,

we scream and shout, hoping for a clue,

to the answer for what it is we have to do.

EulogyIt was me who caused this.

The priest walks down the aisle, his head held up high,
showing strength for those in sorrow, for the heads whithout
the will to rise.

"We have gathered here today, to pay our tribute and respect to
a friend, a son, a brother..."

I look up and watch him as he says his kind words.
I shouldn't be here, I have hurt everyone here,
I made them come here to remember their loss, what am I doing here.

"A child of god, who was called to join the holy spirit too soon,
too soon..."

I can't even remember why I did it, why I took their son, his brother,
their friend, her lover...

"He may not be with us today, but

The Architects Chapter 1Chapter 1: A new design

"Halt you deviant, stop in the name of unity!"
My legs heard the warning but chose not to listen, they continued leading me to a destination unknown.
The unifiers didn't cease their pursuit and they didn't look like they would stop anytime soon,as one would expect from the worlds finest law enforcers,
I always found the term "enforcer" quite apropriate, they force their laws on those that refuse to follow with ruthless efficiency.

My legs were moving slower and slower, I knew they were almost at their limit, but that's ok, they've done all they can.
The unifiers caught up to me and surrounded my lonesome self,

The Architects Ch1 p2Chapter 1: A new design

Part 2: The usual innocent criminal

My legs complained and cried in pain as I tried to make my way to my so called "home",
it wasn't mine, it was appointed to me by unity law 52 section 3, I doubt it was his choice to let me live in him.
The glares struck as lightning, who could blame them, you don't get to see a man losing his pride and dignity everyday.

When I arrived at the place I was obliged to live in,
my eyes couldn't help but whisper "they're here too" as they saw the unifiers standing in front of the door.
"Citizen, you are hereby placed under a code red lockdown, you're house will be searched for other

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Submitted: April 22, 2012
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Contamination

by ~C3POwn, Apr 22, 2012, 4:40:46 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

A chair filled, a desk forgotten, this is my place, my destiny,
to sit here with envy and anger as lifes pass by, surrounding me
with their existence, suffocating an already buried mind,
gasping for some much needed air.

Must this be where I am?
Alone yet surrounded by others, chained to a treadmill by myself,
moving forward but staying in the same place at all times unable
to break the shackles I strap on myself ever so tightly.

I am just a contamination in the body of the world, trying to take
it's piece to survive but constantly stricken down, just an unwanted
contaminent in a harsh environment.

Contaminationby ~C3POwn

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Saw the word contaminant and it's definition, it made me think about
myself, so it became more of a collection of thoughts then a poem.

~Endlander Apr 23, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

Also I liked the poem.

~C3POwn Apr 23, 2012 Student Writer

thank you ^^

~Endlander Apr 23, 2012 Hobbyist Digital Artist

Destiny exists only if you allow it to. So fight it - Damn you! xD And find somebody to rely on.

~C3POwn Apr 23, 2012 Student Writer

it's not so much destiny that i fear, but my mental condition,
i suffer from spectrum disorder autism, wich causes alot of things
including me getting stuck in a routine, wich i cannot escape from
with ease, this makes pretty much everything in life very difficult
and makes me feel like i'm stuck on a treadmill from time to time...

~KotaWaterWolf Apr 22, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I love it

~C3POwn Apr 23, 2012 Student Writer

thank you ^^

~KotaWaterWolf Apr 23, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

You are more than welcome.

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Contamination

Contaminationby ~C3POwn

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